Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Raise Your Middle Finger

Raise your voice only if you dislike stupid movies.  I sat, sick to my stomach, last nite when I saw the previews for the new Hilary Duff movie, “Raise Your Voice”, came on.  Uhhhh sorry Ms. Duff but I think the premise of this movie has been done before.  You know the movie right?  It was called Glitter, then Coyote Ugly, then it was called Crossroads, then they called it Save the Last Dance, then it was Honey and now Raise Your Voice.  A small town girl moves to a big city to pursue their dream, usually singing but can easily be subsitituted by dancing.  Then they meet a “dangerous” guy who says that he can get her to the top.  Basically he just wants to get with her.  She then gets stage fright. Then she falls in love with him and overcomes stage fright in the same scene.  Gets her heart broken.  Sad Tear.  Achieves her dream and gets the guy.  Happy Tear.  The end. 
 
Not that “guy” movies are any better or have a better plot, but I will admit that its much much more entertaining for me to watch some psycho dude destroy a whole gang of ppl after they either kill his family, hurt his family, or kidnap someone in his family.  i.e. The Punisher, Walking Tall, or Man on Fire.  These were downright awesome films :-), I was so hyped after I saw each one I just wanted to break a 2×4 over someones head after the movie was over.  But I am more amped to watch these flicks because I rather see cruel destruction and sick fight scenes than some sappy teenage broad try and overcome her fear of stage fright and realize “she is good enough”.  No Thanks Ill Pass and you should too :-)    
 
So what are your five favorite movies or films (for you cultured pricks i.e kurt and shit break). This could be our little networking of movies.  I am gonna set some rules though.  Girls - Please do not the include the following movies, cuz we already know:  Pretty Woman, Dirty Dancing, Runaway Bride, Oceans 11 (because of the hot guys), Coyote Ugly, or Top Gun
Guys - Please do not include the following movies, cuz we already know: Fast and Furious, Gone in 60 Seconds, Office Space, Oceans 11 (because of the hot guys) or Rocky.

Posted by AaronMichael34 at 21:04:50 | Permalink | Comments (16)

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Bryce Paup for Class President!

Thanks to Fabolous, Nelly, and Ludacris it is now popular to sport your throwback jerseys.  Throwbacks, for you ppl under rocks, are sport uniforms from old players back in the day or current players using the old style logos for their team.  It is a pretty hot trend.  Its not just jerseys either.  Cars, music, and other clothing are all becoming “retro”.  It is now cool to play your gameboy again, wear stone washed jeans, and girls can crimp their hair and wear leotards.  I have a lot of “retro” clothes and I like the style.  But what bugs me about these jerseys is that ppl can wear their old Buffalo Bills jerseys from the 90’s with names like Smith, Bennett, and Thomas on the back.  Now these ppl are considered fashionable.  I DISAGREE! People are spending big bucks for their Jim Kelly and Earl Campbell jerseys from college to be cool.  Its not fair that these ppl can try and rip off the system.  Not fair.  Then taking it to the next level, ppl find an old jersey and wear it.  No matter who the jersey off.  Well the Throwback fashion only applies to those players that were sweet back in the day.  You cannot.  I repeat.  You cannot wear a Curtis Enis jersey and think your cool.  Cuz your not.  Look, we know you bought it out of the reject bin at Champion Outlet 8 year ago.  You probably have Larry Johnson jersey from when he was with the Hornets.  You mine as well wear a pink Yankees hat with some unhooked overalls.  Note to guys who got mad at the pink Yankees hat comment.  Pink is for girls and ferries.  Just because Gap and Abercrombie have pink clothes for guys DOES NOT mean its ok for you to buy them.  Unless of course you plan on wearing an Ashton Kutcher trucker hat, with flip-flops, and putting your collar up.  JUST KIDDING fruity skittles.  There’s a reason why its called “THAT 70’s SHOW”
 
If you could pick any fashion/trend to come back, what would it be?  I would like to bring back cassette walkmans with cassette singles.  Downloading is overrated

Posted by AaronMichael34 at 20:18:29 | Permalink | Comments (12)

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

On the next Ryan Seacrest live…

This just in!!! Musicians are getting desperate.  If you have noticed todays music is quickly turning to crap.  We can thank the likes of Korn and covering the old Cameo song “Word Up”.  Granted the song is kinda catchy and fun it is still weird listening to Korn say things such as “Dah pretty ladies around the world” “Wave your hands in the air Like you don’t care” and “Now all you sucker. D.J.’s Who think you’re fly”.  Ya Ok whatever you say White Boy.  Stick to writing your screaming into the microphone and burn down churches music.  Cuz lets be frank, you have as much business covering Cameo as I do buying one of your cds.  Which leads me to my next case in point.  Britney. Britney. Britney.  What are you gonna do next?  Don’t get me wrong, like every other red-blooded American guy I “appreciate” the videos you make but c’mon covering Aerosmith and now Bobby Brown.  Are you kidding? Next thing you know you’ll being covering Hillary Duff or Avril. Why not just make it 100% obvious and cover a Madonna song.  Since your trying to carbon copy her career just in fast forward.  I don’t remember her doing and dumb-ass covers though.  Dont worry though, you’ll be Kabbalah in no time at all. 
 
Next topic of discussion. 
1.) What song would you like see covered? by who?
2.) What is your favorite cover?
3.) What cover do you think the dumbest idea ever?

Posted by AaronMichael34 at 20:00:25 | Permalink | Comments (3)

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Word Up Yo!

Slang is so funny.  In todays day in age its hard to tell what people mean by the terminology they use.  It seems like each year there is a new word that surfaces thats brings a whole new generation of heathens to the table.  In the 70’s the word was ‘groovy’, ya whatever that means.  Terms such as ‘far out’ ‘rad’ and ‘bad’ have come and gone the pinch roll.  But some terms like ‘cool’ and ‘awesome’ have hung around a bit and are still in peoples repertoire of ridiculous words.  The worst is talking to someone on the computer and they give you the ever-popular ‘kewl’.  Bite me please!  So now we are taking these words and changing their meanings and the spelling.  However, I am guilty for making my own language.  This past weekend I was making out a grocery list, and I needed hot dogs.  So I wrote,  Or so I thought.  When I was at the store I noticed that I chose to write it as if I was DMX - ‘Hot Dawgs’.  Over the past year people have made the term ’sweet’ the next in line for life or death of a slang word.  What do you think?  I think its here to stay.  Even more recent than that I noticed people (mostly from 16-35 year old males) using the term ’sick’ as an everyday adjective.  “Dude, that new Simon and Garfunkel cd is ’sick’” or maybe “Dude, Lebron James is sick”.  Really, whats wrong with him?  “Well hes not physically ’sick’.  Well i guess he is but its not like cough cough ’sick’. ”  Yeah OK dude, Im gonna go play Atari and drink Tang now cuz I have no idea what the fuck you are saying to me. 
 
Hope everyone is well.  My back is healing nicely.  A little slower than I hoped but I am starting to move.  I wanna thank the chiro for cracking my neck.  What a weird ass feeling.  First he was massaging then all sudden he Bruce Lee’d my ass.  Weird.  But felt amazing. Anyway for todays topic, lets stick with todays slang.  What are your favorite words to use and what context do you use them in?

Posted by AaronMichael34 at 17:40:41 | Permalink | Comments (7)

Friday, September 17, 2004

Thanks Dr. Lortab

So I took my yearly visit to Emergency Room last night.  Last year some of you might remember the “headache” I had that put me in the hospital.  You remember.  The headache that caused to me throw up, forget where I was, and become unable to piss, this causing the doctors/nurses to a stick a cathetor (sp) up me pee-hole (I now have some kinda of feeling what its like to give birth to a rubber pipe cleaner).  Well this years trip occurred because of a muscle tear in my back.  I tweeked it a month or so ago and re-tweeked this past week.  Everyday it would get worse and worse.  Last nite the pain was unbearable.  I could hardly breathe right.  I couldnt sit still and I definately couldnt get comfy enough to sleep.  So lets talk about the trip down the road to lovely DeGraff hospital.  First off you have picture a 600 lb 80 year old man, thats how I was walking.  It was frightening Im sure.  Well I get there, and its dead calm.  I see the nurses and the ER doctor just sitting around with their legs crossed.  Sweet.  In and Out im thinking.  Wouldnt You?  Wrong again poncho.  “well sir, I see that you can hardly stand and breath so I am gonna take my time writing this file up for you then I want to go and give it to that lady where she can re-write it and print it on some neat paper” Elapsed time 13 mins.  “sorry sir the printer is down, just sit tight and Ill get your nicely printed ER bracelet in a sec” Elapsed time 27 mins.  “Aaron, follow me” Elapsed time 37 mins.  “strip down to your underwear and put on this tablecloth, the doctor will be right in” (please keep in mind, Im not wearing boxers) Elapsed time 52 mins.  “Hello Aaron, what seems to be the problem?” “well my back is in pain and I am having a hard time breathing and the pains are shooting and are getting worse”  “ya? sounds like a pulled muscle.  What do you wanna do?”  “well I want my back to stop hurting, can you do anything now?”  “I can give ya some stuff now but you’ll have to hang around for a bit, or I can give you script” “Ill have a ’scrip” Elasped time 54 mins.  Nurse comes in “here is your ’scrip” “Thanks, hey I have a chiro appt tomorrow, can I still go?” “yes” Elasped time 59 mins.  Well thanks for all the useful information and conversation.  I am glad I got this Lortab from you because it did help me sleep but I feel terrible I interrupted your busy night like that.  Next time ill call ahead and make sure there isnt TOO much going on for me to interrupt. 

Sorry I didnt write more this week everyone.  This injury is really getting the best of me.  So now to open the flows of communication with you all.  Tell me what the worst pain you have ever felt was and what caused it?  This pain is way up there on my list.  Along with the fucking catheter incident.  Lets hear it. 

Posted by AaronMichael34 at 22:30:19 | Permalink | Comments (6)

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Wait! No Weight!!

What kind of society do we live in? I know everyone is conscious of their weight and appearance. But when in hell did we start bringing our pets into it. Not only do WE have to be 100% ready for the catwalk to meet “societys” standards but my poor kitty has to as well. My dad is at the vet, right now as matter of fact, to get Mae a shot. No big deal, but he is under strict orders by my mom to ask “Is Mae too fat?” Next thing you know there will carb-conscious kitties and their own health food store. How the hell do you make a cat lose weight? Pull her food out from underneath her as she nibbles away? Give her Pepsi Edge rather than regular Pepsi? How about this…a little kitty treadmill. How cute would that be? She could run and run for a few minutes until little sweat rings form under her whiskers. After a long weekend for Mae, that included laying around, eating, and tormenting Kit. Mae could get ultra motivated to hit the gym on monday (like most ppl). She could look up at my mom with her kitty-cat eyes as if to tell the food gatekeeper “keep it lite ma”. I could see Mae walking around the house with her little head band on and her walkman velcroed to her arm listening to “Alvin and Chipmunks sweat to the oldies”. Then she jumps up on the hamper so she can check herself out in the mirror to make sure that she still has back. Too much pressure for us, and for our house pets.

As you can see I have stopped doing the high point, low point, and quiz for now. If I ever really think of a good quiz or high point, Ill make sure to include it. But I think what Ill do from time to time is just do a quick “how do you feel about…” type question in order to keep everyone involved and make the site more interactive.

From my past entry, you could probably realize that I was looking forward to the weekend coming up in sports. Well I wanted to take a minute to thank the Ravens, Bills, Red Sox, and Cubs for all screwing the pooch on sunday and successfully making my day crap. I will let the Red Sox off the hook cuz they have been unreal lately. But the Bills blew that game and you cant even really blame it on coaching. Ravens just sucked. The Cubs have slid a lot lately. Their pitching is amazing but if you dont score ANY runs you wont win. Also wanna thank two of the four teams that despise for winning on sunday. The Yankees and Eagles both won (the other two are the Patriots and Lakers). So my question for today is Who are your favorites teams and why? and Who are your least favorite teams and why?

Posted by AaronMichael34 at 00:14:46 | Permalink | Comments (8)

Friday, September 10, 2004

What Lassie? Maxwell is stuck where?

One Dog, Maxwell, will always remember the ravenous flood of 2004.  Maxwell will remember the time that his babysitter, Cory Blake, chained him in the basement.  Thats right, chained the dog up INSIDE.  Then tragedy struck, kinda/almost.  Cory went over to let the dog out for his daily bathroom romping.  Well little did Cory know that the basement would be flooded.  What did Cory find you ask?  Poor Maxwell sitting on the bottom step almost submerged in water.  I say the term almost loosely.  There was Maxwell looking up at Cory just like Leonardo DiCaprio looking up at Kate Winslet in Titanic when they were floating away on the busted door.  (disclaimer - this story was based on a true story, since I heard it second hand I had to fill in some gaps.  I did so for better effect)
 
I went to the gym the other day.  I love going, but I also hate going.  I figured out that I hate going because everyone there seems to bug me to a whole new degree.  As I proceed in the gym, I tell myself “just go workout, and dont pay attention to anyone around.  Get in, get out”.  This plan worked for all of about 27 seconds.  Right until this teenager in a BMW X5 almost clipped me without looking.  Deep Breath.  Brush it off.  Proceed.  Another 13 seconds go by before I see a gaggle of idiots flexing at themselves in the mirror, feeling each others biceps, and other random gay acts.  Not homosexual acts, just gay as in your a moron.  I love how guys at the gym turn into instant drama queens duringa routine work out.  They finish a set and then walk around with a look of distress and concern as they stretch that particular muscle.  I am sure they thinking “Wow, I hope all these guys smaller than me can see what it takes to be as cut up as me.  I cant wait to go home and watch CSI”.  Get over yourselves. 
 
This is the best that sports have been in awhile.  Baseball is heating up to a level it hasnt been at in a long, long time.  Football season is starting and I am finally ready for the season to be here.  I really didnt care until this week.  Football hasnt left a good taste in my mouth lately.  And then next month, we will have Baseball postseason, football in mid season form, NBA hoops, and maybe hockey.  What is a better time for sports I ask you?  No, its not every forth year when little anarexic (sp) Annie does her floor exercise against Mi Sux from Japan.  So for this entry I wanna know… What your most memorable sports memories.  Name as many as youd like. 
 
Have a great weekend everyone!

Posted by AaronMichael34 at 16:26:47 | Permalink | Comments (14)

Wednesday, September 8, 2004

Knock on wood…or don’t

I should have knocked on wood.  As soon as I opened my mouth about my philosophy I tested my theory once and for all.  Every time I looked in the mirror for the last week I was reminded that the time was coming up for my bi-weekly visit to the salon for a good ol’ fashioned eye brow waxing.  I dreaded it.  But my theory failed miserably.  Cuz not only did I dread this event, but I was fucking right and I was still let down.  There was no saying “ah that wasnt so bad” it was more like “why the hell do I do this to myself”.  I have gone numerous different places for this act of waxing.  There is this woman that is close to me and she charges practically nothing.  Plus I can just walk in and she’ll rip away.  It hurts so bad.  Worse than any other prior waxing job I have ever had.  I want to scream.  My eyes water up like a school girl who just found out that the Backstreet Boys lip-sync.  I have no idea why she makes it hurt so much worse than anyone else.  My face hurts all nite and the following day.  It is not the actual hair being ripped from my flesh, it is the constant plucking using the “syringe tweezers”.  These are no ordanary tweezers.  These fucking things dig in my face, uproot the tiny hair, and make me bleed.  This upsets me, I get so pissy while she is doing this because if I could stand the tweezing process…I WOULD DO IT MYSELF!!!! Trust me though if you saw this caterpiller about my eyes, you would thank me for the quick groom job.
Posted by AaronMichael34 at 16:06:55 | Permalink | Comments (9)

Tuesday, September 7, 2004

Club Dread

I would like to invite everyone to join me.  To join me in a new way of thinking.  A whole new outlook on life.  So what is this revolution you ask?  Here is it is…. DREAD EVERYTHING!  This new philosophy has been rambling around in my head for quite some time now.  It has now surfaced in a way that I could capture in words and explain to you.  Here it is in Laymans for ya.  Say there is something you have to do (i.e. go to a certain place, see certain people, or do something sucky like pay a bill).  Well just fucking dread it.  Dread paying that bill.  Dread that trip to Wal-Mart on a weekend after school is back in session.  Dread going to work.  You what will happen?  You will complete these minimal tasks and realize “what the fuck was I worried about? That wasnt so bad”.  This philosohpy matches up perfectly with the people that seem to get let down easily.  Look at it this way.  Set your expectations extremely low and it will be hard to be let down.  I had to go WalMart today to grab a futon.  On Labor Day.  This has hell written all over it.  So I was dreading it all weekend.  Well we got there.  Got what we needed and got out.  It was harmless.  Simple actually is a good word here.  So I dreaded this event. But yet since it really wasnt that bad to begin with, the fact that it was so easy almost made me enjoy going and putting up with the WT.  My advice is to you is to start dreading certain things and the outcome will never let you down.  It can only get better if you expect the worse. 
Posted by AaronMichael34 at 04:57:42 | Permalink | Comments (7)

Thursday, September 2, 2004

Insta-Ghetto

Alan is a cool dude.  Very calm and relaxed and always in a good mood.  He and his family are always very pleasant to be around.  I swear to god though, Alan has a alter-ego such a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  It is incredible and hilarious to watch.  Alan will be his normal self.  Laid back and just having fun, and then something triggers him like P.Diddy at a night club.  As soon as ANY drop of alcohol or any hint of herbal hits his blood stream he turns Insta-Ghetto.  He start using any stereo-typical ghetto slang that you can think of.  Terms such as “y’all” “get up wit” “I need’s me a motorcycle” and “YAWWWW” (like ”yo” but really hard and drawn out in the fashion of the “wassup” guys) starting zipping around like a kid with ADD.  Then comes the exaggerated “head bob” when a good song comes on.  It’s a mix between a cool head nod and a flat out headbang (if you have ever seen a black guy with no hair do this, it is quite funny).  Alan goes from loving family man and father to gang-banging DMX in about 2.9 seconds when herb and alcohol are around.  Thats why every time I can hang out with Alan, it is an adventure.

Some decent quotes for the day.  Zach called me 5 times the other night.  So I see the missed calls.  I try em back the next day and finally talk to him.  This is an exerpt of our conversation
AM - “I saw you called me a few times last night, everything OK?”
ZR - “Yeah, I was lost in Buffalo”
AM - “Oh no! Where you were at”
ZR - “I don’t know, Thats why I was lost!”
 
Alan and I were watching “Straight Plan for the Gay Man” and this gay guy on the show has a life coach. 
AH - “What the fuck is a life coach? I need’s me a coach on life.  That way if I fuck something up, I can blame the the life coach and fire his ass”
(please keep in mind that this was after a drink, so he was in Insta-Ghetto mode)
 
high point - good fantasy football draft
 
low point - long day at work
 
quiz - Whose football jersey did I just buy?
 
answer - Dat Phan and John Heffron

Posted by AaronMichael34 at 17:41:06 | Permalink | Comments (4)