Some of you may recall and archived blog entry of mine that was describing people the slang they choose to use. People seem to develop their own language. They use words that they think “fit” them. More time than not they make themselves sound like idiots. So what I have done is compiled a list of these words/phrases that people are using more and more. Then with this list I am going to translate what people really mean when they utter these phrases.
“fair enough” - I like to call this the number one conversation killer around today. This is a term that people muster up at the end of the conversation. What they really are saying is “I don’t care” or “lets change the subject”. Basically, “fair enough” is replaced the age old term “whatever” which has roughly the same translation.
“not so much” – This is basically just cooler way to say “not really”. I call this a “TV term”. A term that is written by genius sitcom writers just to spice up the English language which in turn should spicen up their sub-par TV show that is in the fast lane to cancellation. People then think because they hear it on a mediocre television show that it is ok to use in everyday conversations. Well guess what? “Not so much”!
“cocktail” – My first blog addressing this whole subject described my hatred for this word. I still hate it. Probably even more so. Besides the sexual implications behind this compound word, it just sounds stupid. Using this word is just a way to class up what people really are doing when they are “getting cocktails”…”getting fucked up”. People will use this to put an artsy spin on drinking draught specials at the local watering hole. So when someone says “we are heading out for cocktails”, correct them and say “you mean having the $1.50 draught special of Miller Lite?”
“no worries” – Wow talk about pissing me off mate. You are not Paul Hogan and I’m guessing you’re not shooting Crocodile Dundee 4 so stop talking like an Aussie. This makes people sound like they have taken one too many trips to Outback Steakhouse for their Bloomin’ Onion. When someone says “no worries” they are really just replacing the normal terms “it’s ok” or “it’s alright”. It is still perfectly fine to use the original term…”don’t worry about it”. I know that it is a few more words to spit out but I’m sure you will live. Example…
Me - “Sorry I didn’t get back to you last night, I saw that you called”
Someone else - “No worries”
Me - “Do you know how dumb you sound when you say that?”
Someone else - “No worries”
Me - “This conversation is over”
“right on” - Possibly my least favorite term ever. This term was adopted by wannabe metrosexuals that think they are either a surfer or a skater. No idea how to respond when someone says this. When someone says “right on” it gives off a similar feeling that “fair enough”. Basically, “right on” means “I don’t care” or “the last thing you said has nothing to do with me therefore I have nothing else to say, but right on”. However, it is ok for girls to say this. Uhhh “not so much”. Girls aren’t really metrosexuals, those are guys, and girls don’t try to be surfers or skaters. So honestly I have not figured out what to think about girls saying “right on”. I feel like when someone says “right on” to me that my collar just automatically starts popping up, even without my help.
“That’s Hot” – No it’s not. Shut up Paris .
“cheers” - I know what you are thinking. “Cheers” isn’t a trendy saying. Wrong. Not that kind of “cheers”. Not the kind of “cheers” when you are gathered with a group of people and someone yells “cheers” and expects everyone to stop what they are doing and clink glasses. The kind of “cheers” I am referring to is used mostly by artsy metrosexuals. It is used as a salutation at the end of a conversation.
Me – “Seacrest out!”
Artsy Metro – “Ok man. Cheers!”
Oh boy, are you kidding me? What a stupid way to leave a conversation. It is clearly a term to promote partying and party related actions. Dumb. “Cheers” evidentally is becoming this generations version of “caio”. It is my thought that when someone says “cheers” as their leaving message that they are really saying “party on Wayne ”.
Extended Note – People that are cool enough to say “cheers” please do not, I repeat DO NOT, have your voice mail message say…
“This is ____ __________ and I can’t answer my cell phone right now. Please leave me a message. Cheers!”
Extended Note II – This applies to text messages. Sorry Kurt.
“We are heading for cocktails, see you there. Cheers!”
The following is a list of words/phrases/terms that I do like and approve the use of…
1 – Later (Late) – Instead of bye to end a conversation. Cool but not TOO cool.
2 – What up? – Trendy and urban, but not TOO urban.
3 – Nice – Just a solid overall word that can be inserted in numerous situations.
4 – That place is a hole – Referring to a place that sucks or is dirty. Can be replaced with “pile” as well.
5 – That makes me wanna stab myself – Anything that irks someone, this is a good reaction. Shows true disgust. Also can be evolved to “makes me wanna slit my wrist”.
6 – Hit up the Cell(y) – Trendy and urban, not TOO urban.
7 – I Like that you ______ (fill in the blank) - Very funny and a great term to express your approval of a specific action. i.e. – “I like that you funneled 3 beers” or “I like that you cut your t-shirt into a v-neck”
8 – Dude – It is now cool for 30-something white guys to say “dude”. Awesome.
9 – That’s Sick – This came out with a bang like 2 years ago. It is fading fast. But I slip in a “that’s sick”. Usually in reference to Batman Begins.
10 – Your Mom ____(fill in the blank) – I know what your thinking. That’s so 90’s. Correction. That WAS so 90’s. Up till Kip said “your mom goes to college”. It’s cool again.
