Being Aaron Michael

I will admit it.  I am really into American Idol.  You might call my life and a mess and my priorities are out of whack.  Who’s to say you’re wrong.  But I love watching the show and being the toughest critic, like I have perfection beaming from all orifices.  So now I am going to let you all in on my “expert” opinions on a handful of the contestants.  And to answer the question ahead of time, “who am I to judge these people”.  The answer is simple.  NOBODY!  Check the site while you read if you dont know who is who. Idol.

Becky O’Donohue - Definately the hottest contestant ever! Maybe the hottest girl in general ever.  And there is two of them.  She has a twin.  Please check out the photos they took together.  Click Here.  Guys (and some of the girls out there), I promise you will have a new wallpaper on your computer after you see this!

Kellie Pickler - Don’t you mean Carrie Underwood Version 2.0 (same old look, without the voice)

Ace - Way too hot for a dude.  If I was a chick I dont know who I would want, him or Seacrest. 

Bucky - I’m Joe Dirt!  You can tell its me by how my facial hair grows in perfectly white trashy. 

Brenna - Can’t wait for you to be voted off.  I hate you so much I am speechless. 

Kinnik - African American Angelia Jolie. 

Will Makar - I am sure you will get a call to play Kevin when they do a remake series of the Wonder Years.   

Ayla Brown - Hi I’m hot. My dad is a famous politician. My mom is a tv host. I play D-1 hoops. I can sing. After I conquer American Idol, I am planning to write, direct, and star in a documentary about how everyone wishes they had my life. 

Now for some predictions…

Next Four Booted off: Brenna, Kinnik, David Radford, Bucky

Final Four: Ace, Gedeon, Katharine, Paris

Final Two: Ace, Paris

Winner: Ace (unless he gets his hair cut, loses his muscles, is stabbed in the throat, gets fat, or has a criminal record dug up on him)

My favorites: Gedeon, Elliot, Paris, Melissa

Hi my name is Obi.  This is my first personal ad. Let me tell you a little bit about myself.  Well, I am 26 years old and live in Olean NY .  I am a huge sports fan, some of my favorites are darts, pool, chain smoking, beer pong, downloading things, and who could forget gambling.  I work as a Golf Pro here in Olean , so that means I only work for 2 out of the 12 months.  It is sweet.  It gives me a lot of time to concentrate on another passion of mine…watching every movie ever made.  What movies most people like, I dislike.  And the movies I like are usually not as well-received by my peers and I consider them to be epic works of art.  My list of favorite “films” includes Dumb and Dumberer (that’s right the prequel), any Bond movie, and any movie with Paul Walker.  I own a car that needs to be charged.  And no its not a hybrid.  Well that is winter car, my “real” car is a unnecessarily fast and expense Mazda RX-8.  The only thing that sucks, is my window of driving this seasonal car perfectly coincides with my seasonal job.  Some random things about me…I wear my golf spikes everywhere.  I only eat chicken wings and Doritos.  John Mayer makes me feel like I’m cloud nine.  Lets see what else.  Ummmmm, ahh yes, how could I have forgotten the most important detail?  If you are a girl and you are interested in me, please do me a favor and look at your birth certificate.  If it says that you were born before this date in 1988 please do us both a favor and find someone your own age.  Well I better go before I kill the whole element of mystery about myself.  Besides I have some curling and coin flips to go bet on.  Go Frostburg State JV Lacrosse!

I am going to use this blog to rant and rave about the most random things one can imagine, or not imagine.  Who knows. 

That Photograph song by Nickelback makes me want to puke. 

I think its hilarious how on 2-Liters of soda that you buy it specifically says “No Refills”.  What the fuck?  How dumb are people?  How dumb do they think people are?  Like I am gonna safe the bottle, walk my ass into Wilson Farms and say “uhhhh yeah I’m here to refill my Diet Dr. Bob”. 

MySpace is the dumbest thing ever.  But it is however my new addiction.  I have like 3 ppl that message me but I feel its necessary to check it every 11 seconds.  I did realize that I have no business even being apart of MySpace as I do not have any of the following: kids, tattoos, a ton of pics of me partying to show my popularity, a camera phone, shirtless pics (thank me later), 700 “friends”. 

I love the show the office.  But I would definately beat the shit out of the Michael Scott character if he was my boss. 

I dont care what doctors say.  Starving yourself is definately the best way to lose weight. 

Eardrops feel wickedly awesome when they are slowly oozing down your ear canal.  It’s kind of addicting. 

A lot of commercials make me laugh.  Rarely are they on the radio.  But recently I heard one for Coke Zero that was just hilarious.  This guy calls up Coke and says the only way you could produce Coke Zero and make it taste like Coke is to do it in space.  The worker says he cant speculate.  Then the guy says “Why dont you just stop pretending you dont produce Coke Zero in space”…thats hilarious!

What has happened to me when I hear a Marilyn Manson song and say to myself “damn I gotta get home and download this song”.  Don’t worry, I will make sure to stop at church afterwards. 

It is bad enough that every 50 Cent song that is released is the same damn song. i.e. Window Shopping, Candy Shop and some other sucky song.  It’s retarded.  But he goes out and signs Mase to his label.  Uhhhh that’s just weird.  Thats like Will Smith signing with Death Row or No Limit.  Is nothing sacred anymore from Bad Boy Records.  Whatever Diddy…stick to those Diet Pepsi commercials with Jay Mohr. 

If you are from Olean and reading this…Please Read Closely!  I am officially beginning a full out embargo of A&J’s restaurant.  Who the fuck do they think they are to charge those prices.  12 dollars for a damn sub.  Suck it!  Mine as well charge a cover to get in the place.  Eff Them!!  Never again.  We spent 33 dollars for a burger, fries, cheese stix, and pizza logs.  Umm NO!  Go elsewhere.  They don’t even have hot workers there anymore.  It used to help with the justification. 

Sorry the last blog sucked. 

I was reminded this weekend of a few things.  One, I hate going to the movies.  Especially to opening night of a PG-13 Horror Flick.  Every piece of white trash and us ventured to the movies.  No one would shut up nor would they stop kicking my chair.  Two, “When a Stranger Calls” was not good.  Not scary, funny, dramatic, or entertaining.  It was so unscary it was boring.  Conclusion: Never let Obi pick the movie again.  Three, kids now-a-days are stupid. 

I hate “W” evenmore now that his precious State of Union caused Scrubs to be cancelled for the night.  At lease shorten the State of Union to 30 mins and air it on Thursday at about 8 eastern standard time.  That is when Will & Grace is normally on right?  Well it could have been worse, it could have cancelled 24. 

Speaking of which, Will & Grace is not coming back next season.  Thank goodness.  Who seriously needs to see Taye Diggs and Will make out?  No one!

Hey All!  Hope everyone is well.  Getting settled into the new house.  I will try bloggin more.  I am getting more and more ideas and thoughts for entries.  I’ll try i promise.  But what better way to keep it up than another page of quotes.  I know left out a bunch but you get the gist.  Stay tuned!

Tim I - “I am going to leave my zipper down for the entire meeting.  Maybe even dangle a carrot out of my pants.”

Obi - “I think ____ ______ (insert kids name from high school who thinks he is cool, but isnt) is stupid and weird.

Zach - “Do you know Karen Wickseed” (name was change to protect)

Me - “Yeah?”

Zach - “Pup and I saw her boobs.  They’re big.”

Zach - “Awesome  ”so and so”  is here, now we can talk about wrestling”

Me - “Lotto tickets huh?”

Jester - “yeah”

Me - “I hope you win syphilis”

Backstory - Howie’s new house and a lot of homeless ppl sleeping in the small field that is adjacent to his yard.  Howie asked my mom to bring this rusty pistol BB Gun from Olean to fire a few “warnings”. 

Mom - “Here is the BB gun.  What did you need it for?

Howie - “I wanna shoot these homeless ppl that are sleeping by the house.  Just in the leg”

Mom - “No you’re not.  Really what do want it for?”

Howie - “I seriously wanna shoot them”

Mom - “Well let me check the Jeep, I think brought some BB’s for you to use”

Obi - “I just saw your mom at Beef n Barrell.  Her coworkers are hot”

Me - “Fuck that I’m calling her”

Zach - “these girls dressed up like the Blind Melon bee.  There was 3 of them.  But they weren’t fat”

Me - “I’m re-reading The Da Vinci Code”

Jeff - “I’m re-reading my moral philosophy”

Me - “I have no moral philosophy, and if I do, I got it from a cereal box”

me to co-worker - “do you smoke weed?  you seem like a pothead”

This really isn’t a quote as much as a facial expression.  The utter look of disgust on my dads face when we were cleaning out a table that came from my brother and we found his rolling papers. 

My brother after a night out in Buffalo (in which he hooked up) “I felt guilty, but whatever”

Howie - “Jesus this looks just like “Ed”.  They mine as well just call it “Ted” - referring to Tom Cavanagh’s new show “Love Monkey”