If Phelps is front page Olympic news, this would be on an off-brand milk carton
Since there is nothing else on TV the only thing to watch is the Olympics. I find some of the Olympics compelling and I find some so inane that I can’t help but say…WTF! Please explain to me why speed walking is a sport, let alone an Olympic sport. I watched for a solid 30 minutes just so I can figure out what the hell I was watching. Here are a few observations…
*** There are commentators. They literally say nothing. These people are talking about how tough it is to be a walk racer (that’s the PC term). It just so happens to be raining and all these commentators are talking about how the rain causes ”bubbling” on the surface and how the walk racers can trip over these “bubbles” if they aren’t careful. So let me get this straight, the walkers have to be careful not to trip over water….while WALKING. - “oh I’m sorry I tripped over some water during my after-dinner stroll” - Play a real sport, you make Poker look athletic.
*** They look ridiculous. If you have never seen walk racing, I will paint a picture. First start with a homely soccer mom…dress her like a runner…make her walk like Ace Ventura…with flippers on her feet…while shaking an invisible hula-hoop on her ass…then tell her to go for a 10K walk, but she has to come home for dinner in precisely 90 mins…but there’s a catch…you can’t run…only walk…FAST!!!
*** As hard as it is to analyze, People actual try. I’ll save you some time. There is no analysis. It’s fast walking. Don’t and try to sugar coat it. They can talk about different fluids each of the “competitors” prefer. Which is funny because an old person that drinks Ensure could handle this “sport”. They can talk about their diets. Look, I walked uptown the other day, very fast, and I picked up a pizza. I was only 35 seconds from qualifying.
*** Practice? How the hell do you practice speed walking. Wouldn’t just say “fuck it” and start to run at some point. Maybe they mount something on a helmet for them to chase, and if move to fast they shot with a stun gun. I can picture the soccer mom’s coach taking out his old beer can hard hat and a fishing pole. Strapping the pole to the hard hat then lastly putting the keys to a new Volvo on the hook and then ZAP!!!!
*** There are warnings and disqualifications. “Damn it, I hate it when I mean to walk but I accidentally started to break into run”. Can you get DQ’d in real sprints if you “accidently” start to walk? I don’t think so. When you get warned, a guy comes out and steps in front of you while shoving a yellow paddle in your face. No pun intended, but wouldn’t you just want to run him over?
*** They aren’t bright. As I stated, it was pouring during this “Olympic walking marathon”, well one of the ladies grabbed a bottle of water from a spectator and poured it on her head…WHILE IT’S POURING!
Ok, I’m bored with this, time to watch something competitive. Is fishing an Olympic sport yet?
my uncle won the gold 20 years ago for speed walking!!!
By the way, Golf isnt even an Olympic sport……
You laugh now, but somewhere in between “Olympic Walking” and “Olympic Running” there is another sport AND someday, somehow, someone will find it. Mark it down now, because the days of “Olympic Jogging” are on the way…
After watching curling in the Winter Olympics, nothing surprises me. Once the Japanese and South Koreans start petitioning a little harder, there will be a gold medal match some day for Sonic the Hedgehog 100hr Team Relays.
You still write on here! Thanks
great capture,beautiful composition with rich colours.