Damn it, I’m an adult!
Apparently, I can no longer write blogs due to my recently developed adult-ADD. I think of a good topic and one of the following things occurs…
1) I forget the topic
2) I start writing and forget why I wanted to write about whatever topic it is
3) I start writing and realize it’s not blog-able material
4) I start writing and then i notice something shiny on my desk and forget what I was doing and then check Facebook out of habit
However, I do have a list of a few topics to write about so I wont forget them (unless of course i forget where I put the list).
Now that I am nearing my 30’s, a lot of my acquaintances are venturing into parenthood. One thing that I have noticed about their kids is that the baby instantly develops a nickname. The most popular equation is simply throwing an “Y” on the end of the name (sounds like E), see below…
*** Mark + Y = Marky
*** Jake + Y = Jakey
*** Sam + Y = Sammy
*** Jim + Y = Jimmy
I think that is enough examples (eventhough they are all boys names, im sure it works for girls names as well)
What I don’t get is that I dont know any adults that are called Marky or Jakey. So there has to be a time where the kid out-grows their baby nickname. But when is this? Is there a cutoff? And how the hell does the family train itself to call them by their grown-up name? I think we should set a deadline. My initial thought is that when a kid turns 13 they instantly should be called what they are going to be called from then on. Unless the kid is super masculine at a younger age, maybe they are shaving at 11 or chewing tobacco at 12, those kids earn the right to be nullify their baby nickname quicker and transition to their real name (they should also be able to change their name to Bruce or Tank). After that 13th birthday, family and friends who slip up by calling them Joey or Timmy should be penalized. Next question, what is a fair punishment? Obviously violence is always the first form of punishment that comes to mind. But what level violence is a good trade off for calling someone by the wrong form of their name? Here are my suggestions…
1 Slip Up - The person who is guilty has to stand facing a wall and the kid gets to whip a raquetball at their back
2 Slip Ups - The guilty party has to stand with their back against the wall, and this time the kid can use a golf ball to whip at them
3 Slip Ups - The grown up is tied to a chair and the kid can do whatever he/she wants as long is draws blood.
I think it would be safe to assume there wouldn’t be a 4th slip up. My parents are lucky you can’t put a “Y” on end of my name to cuten it up at all.
I think it’s a habit that transcended from the NHL. For some reason every hockey player goes from Steve to Stevie; Rick to Ricky….etc. I blame the mullet maven Barry Melrose for all of it.
At least they’re not following the celebrity trend of naming their kids after inanimate objects like Apple, Willow, Signpost, Toaster or whatever other Hollywoodian name is out there.
NYG 1-0; NYJ 1-0; BUF 1-0….tis a good year
My whole family still calls me Jenny. As well as my closest friends - and I am 32.
You are thinking, lots of hard work, much clearer, super progress, I am proud of you, showing your stuff, that’s the way, keep studying, almost there, so close, better than ever, I knew you could do it, way to go.
Thanks so very much for taking your time to create this very useful and informative site.